Pondering Humanness

 When I get writer's block a phrase comes to mind: write what I know. As much as I want to know everything in life, from the botany of moss to memorizing the constitution, I simply can’t. However, I do know myself, my life experiences, my interactions with others, and my critical thinking skills. I know my perceptions of others and interactions with the world external to myself. Here are a few of my midnight musings on the subject.  

 

Several of my little business ventures have contained the word “dynamic” in the title. I love this word because it sums up life. This is how the Oxford Dictionary defines the term:

 

  Dictionary

      Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

dy·nam·ic

/dīˈnamik/

 

adjective

1.     (of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress.

"a dynamic economy"

 

2.     (of a person) positive in attitude and full of energy and new ideas.

"she's dynamic and determined"

 

noun

1.     a force that stimulates change or progress within a system or process.

"evaluation is part of the basic dynamic of the project"

2.     MUSIC

another term for dynamics (sense 3).

 

I embrace both the adjective and noun definitions of this word. At times, certain people would describe me as a force, and maybe not in the fondest terms. I enjoy aiding systems and processes to evolve. I am also someone who embraces personal progress. I have come to view change in life as a good thing because change brings opportunities. 

 

I don’t covet family photographs, make cute picture albums, or have family photos up on my walls. Because that is all the past and we are all moving forward. I want to focus on being present with my kids in this moment and helping them discover life as it goes forward because life never goes backward. Getting stuck on one’s past only hinders the future. 

 

The second concept of humanness I frequently ponder is duality. Not necessarily the extreme of good vs evil, but more the concept of opposite selves. I can hold two opposing views of myself and the truth might lie somewhere in the middle or nowhere at all. That’s the beauty of dynamic humanness, perceptions are not tangible. There is no definition of who I am, just perceptions.  However, I am continuously changing, learning, and progressing in some manner, and so are you. One hour I might be in dirty overalls polishing a car in my auto detailing shop, and two hours later I’m dressed up for a business meeting. I can do both of those things, and both are true to who I am. 

 

I may not meet some peoples's definition of success because I am divorced, don’t go to church, and do not own any land. However, I believe those qualities are what make me successful because those are the qualities I embrace; being independent, being spiritual, and being mobile. 

 

 

Work a day on the psychiatric ward and you might understand this better. If a patient believes they are Spiderman, who am I to argue with them?  If I insist they interact with me as the entity of their given name, then any attempt at therapeutic rapport has gone out the window. Instead, I meet people in their current experiences, their feelings, and their fears, because that is who they are. Even Spiderman is afraid of another court commitment of psychiatric hold and medications with or without consent. So that’s the foundation I work from with Spiderman. Spiderman does not want to lose his autonomy. 

 

When my son was four years old, he stood at the top of the stairs and announced he was Buzz Light Year and he was about to fly. Suddenly finding myself as the mother of Buzz Light Year. I did not agree this was a safe or rational assessment of his concept of self. My perceptions of him were based on never having seen him fly before.  As he stood perched for lift-off, I did see an Emergency Room visit in our near future. I quickly shouted, “YOU are NOT Buzz Light Year and you CAN NOT fly.”  His head hung low and his lower lip quivered as he said, “But why not, mom.”  Try answering that question in four-year-old terms after having just crushed your son's image of self. 

 

In conclusion, being human is a difficult concept to define. We can’t truly define it, we can’t hold it in our hands, and we can’t say it has consistency. What makes humanness beautiful is how we interact with each other within the construct of the idea. We hold ourselves to a certain set of values, however, that doesn’t make them right or universal. We constantly navigate this humanness every day and with every interaction. We can only define the behaviors of others, but not the wholeness of who they are.

 

Keep moving forward,

 

Loni Conley (the Dynamic Diva)